Self-Respect, Self-Disgust and Self-Esteem

Self-disgust is a product of growing up in an abusive culture. I say culture because abuse is the culture in some societies, which leads to a culture of abusive families. Abusive behaviour, which is also immature behaviour, is considered normal and excused.

Abusive behaviour is disgusting. Abuse is an expression of disgust and it engenders disgust in those who witness it. Children who grow up in a disgusting environment, learn self-disgust. They learn to hate themselves. This is because they can’t express, often not even articulate, their anger and loathing of what they experience around them. This turns into self-loathing because they can’t be true to themselves. They cannot speak up or be honest about what they are feeling. Anger turns inwards as rage, which becomes self-hatred. Even if the abuse is not directed at them, if they experience adults’ abusive behaviour towards one another, they are still being abused. They are experiencing some form of violence, which violates them. Adults who do not respect one another are openly disrespecting the feelings of the children who live in the environment they create.

Children who grow up in abusive families learn and adopt the models they see around them, especially as they are given no others. Because these are models of rage, they don’t learn how to express anger or articulate discomfort, disrespect and disgust potently. They grow up frustrated, raging and impotent. Then they feel disgust and loathing for themselves. They do not respect themselves because they feel bad with all these feelings inside them, unexpressed. They have low self-esteem.

So, think before you yell. You don’t know who may be listening, and suffering.