I met a man on Sunday who opened his heart to me. He was the most real person I have heard for a long time, speaking his truth with passion. I just know my pot/kettle friend would have attacked him. I stood up and cheered for him. I don’t think his truth gets heard very often.
If you’ve not been listened to as children, you often share inappropriately. It’s been said that adult children of dysfunctional families tell their life story to the lady at the supermarket checkout but keep their truth secret from their friends. They haven’t learned appropriateness.
My friend (new friend) on Sunday knew he was safe with me and another mutual friend present. I didn’t necessarily agree with everything he said. But I listened and thought about it – for half the night, actually. He gave me plenty of food for thought. It’s good to hear another point of view, especially a man’s, if you’re a woman, even if it does challenge you. I believe women with women can collude with one another in gender based biases. Maybe men do that too. There’s something refreshing and fertilising about cross gender conversations and revelations, not to mention surprising.
We used to use an exercise in groups called the Fish Bowl. The men would sit in a tight circle and the women would sit close behind them in another circle. The men were given various subjects to discuss, relating to relationships with women. The women were not allowed to comment. Then they changed places for their discussions. At the end there would be sharing. Both genders were surprised and pleased by what they heard.
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