Courage comes from having a strong heart. It is not about fighting, but about loving. And it takes courage to love. This means opening yourself up, being honest and being vulnerable. It also means letting go of false pride. It does not mean being a victim; quite the opposite. When you open yourself up to love, you take up your power. False pride keeps you powerless and unable to resolve your differences in relationships.
Having courage gives you self respect, even though you may have to do things you do not want to do, ie face up and speak up. But, if you take courage and do this, you feel better about yourself.
Taking courage means confronting the coward and the wimp in you, coming to terms with your vulnerability. This is not easy. You do it in your own time, when you are ready. Courage is something that grows.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Another Look at Enemies
Is this my favourite subject?
As I said before, your enemies are your best friends. They teach you what you need to know. Enemies teach you more about yourself than your friends ever will. Friends, because they like you, are more likely to collude with you. But enemies highlight your faults; they are excellent mirrors. They reflect your shadow, what you are denying about yourself; your inner conflicts. They do this because you also project your shadow onto them. Your enemies have the faults that you deny in yourself.
So conflict with enemies is a useful tool. It is an opportunity to own your shadow, to admit what you are denying, to examine and integrate it. Enemies challenge you to resolve your inner conflict because they highlight it for you – if you can put yourself in your enemies’ shoes.
If you can have compassion for your enemies, you will have compassion for yourself. You will no longer be at odds with yourself. However, if you are at war with your enemies, you will be at war with yourself. You will have no inner peace.
As I said before, your enemies are your best friends. They teach you what you need to know. Enemies teach you more about yourself than your friends ever will. Friends, because they like you, are more likely to collude with you. But enemies highlight your faults; they are excellent mirrors. They reflect your shadow, what you are denying about yourself; your inner conflicts. They do this because you also project your shadow onto them. Your enemies have the faults that you deny in yourself.
So conflict with enemies is a useful tool. It is an opportunity to own your shadow, to admit what you are denying, to examine and integrate it. Enemies challenge you to resolve your inner conflict because they highlight it for you – if you can put yourself in your enemies’ shoes.
If you can have compassion for your enemies, you will have compassion for yourself. You will no longer be at odds with yourself. However, if you are at war with your enemies, you will be at war with yourself. You will have no inner peace.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Aloneness (Solitude)
I have been absent for a bit because I decided to retire. I’ve shut up shop after 27 years. And I’ve been spending time with myself, taking stock of what I have done, coming to terms with who I am now and looking at where I can and want to go from here.
Everyone needs times alone to learn to live with and love themselves and their own company. You can’t love what you don’t know. Living alone with yourself, you come to know and understand who you are and how you tick; you gain peace, serenity and dignity because, by communing with yourself, you learn to identify and resolve your differences, the inner conflicts that split you and alienate you against yourself. In this way you learn how to love others and to resolve your differences with them. You learn what you want in relationship and how you can get it by being clear in your intentions. You are less likely to mislead those you relate with.
So I have been getting clearer about what I now want to offer. I love my solitude; but I will still be around. I will still be blogging. I might even write another book. And I will still be happy to see you here.
Everyone needs times alone to learn to live with and love themselves and their own company. You can’t love what you don’t know. Living alone with yourself, you come to know and understand who you are and how you tick; you gain peace, serenity and dignity because, by communing with yourself, you learn to identify and resolve your differences, the inner conflicts that split you and alienate you against yourself. In this way you learn how to love others and to resolve your differences with them. You learn what you want in relationship and how you can get it by being clear in your intentions. You are less likely to mislead those you relate with.
So I have been getting clearer about what I now want to offer. I love my solitude; but I will still be around. I will still be blogging. I might even write another book. And I will still be happy to see you here.
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