Fear

I wrote about God, good and love. Fear is the opposite of, the absence of, love – and therefore absence of meaning. When you are afraid you are separated not only from love, but also from connection with your self, your truth, your reality. This is ungrounding and therefore frightening in itself. It is fear that shuts love out – and then your feel fearful without that love.

You learn to fear as a child when you are undermined by negativity: judgements, criticisms, jealousy, guilt, humiliation and rejection – all abusive. When what you experience as good, as love, as all children naturally do, is negated, then your self is negated and you are separated from your truth, which is goodness and love. You believe you are bad and experience the world around you as bad and therefore frightening.

When your self is negated, you cease to be. You cannot make sense of or find meaning in your existence. This is known as existential fear. It is important to know this fear is inherited. It is not your own truth. It may have been passed down through generations, through fearful parenting. You may have been born in fear, traumatised by frightening experience in the womb and the birth process, but this can be healed through positive parenting. Negative parenting does not allow this to happen.

It is also important to know that, unless you confront this fear, you will pass it on, to your children and in your relationships, through a process called projection. This becomes self-defeating because you eventually create what you fear most – fear itself: insecurity, negativity, dissatisfaction, disappointment and bitterness. If you don’t address this bitterness, you attack other people with it and perpetuate the cycle of fear.