Sharing emotions is an act of love. Even sharing anger is loving. Conversely, holding back what you are feeling is mean, miserly and unkind in the end.
The ideal in loving relationships is heart to heart communication. If anger is in your heart, then share it. Anger is clear and clean – and I don’t mean rage here. To express anger is to clear the air. Holding onto anger leads to bad feeling. It doesn’t give the other person the opportunity to know where they stand with you or to make amends. It also makes them feel guilty without knowing what they have done wrong.
They will feel your hostility because your anger will ferment and stagnate into resentment. This is unsettling. Resentment is unhealthy in relationships and needs to be aired – without blame.
If you love someone close to you, it’s very likely you would tell them. Then why not tell them if you are angry. This makes a clear boundary. Boundaries make for healthy and functional relationships. So, if you want your relationship to work, get your anger off your chest. It’s magical and transformative.
Friday, October 17, 2008
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