Privacy, Secrecy and Boundaries

There is a difference between privacy and secrecy. Privacy is about making boundaries; secrecy creates barriers – and therefore reduces both intimacy and relating. Privacy is healthy. We all need it. There is a saying that we are only as sick as our secrets. Secrets are less likely to be healthy. They are also a burden to carry.

Privacy is about respecting our own and other people’s space; about not intruding or infringing boundaries.

Secrecy is a kind of withholding, a holding back, as opposed to sharing. It also implies guilt and shame. There is a qualitative difference between keeping something private and keeping it secret, especially if there is a withholding of information, because you need information in order to make decisions.