Helplessness

Many people have a triggered response to challenges, which, like it or not, life poses from time to time. Many of you will ‘fall into’ helplessness because you believe in your helplessness. Maybe it’s this belief that’s being challenged.

You first learned helplessness when you were a child, when you really were helpless. If you have never learned better, never been encouraged or taught that you can, or how to, or learned that someone will help you, your initial response to any challenge will be, ‘I can’t.’

‘I can’t,’ are the favourite words of an acquaintance of mine. ‘But you haven’t tried,’ is my usual observation. Being stubborn, my acquaintance will say, ‘I know I can’t,’ so I usually give up the argument.

I’ve learned to tell myself, ‘I can,’ and, ‘if I can’t, I’ll find someone to help me.’ But, first of all, I try. I find most problems can be solved and more so if I don’t panic. It’s just a matter of exploring ways in which the problem can be solved, rather than assuming, like my acquaintance, that we’re helpless, even when we feel it, or that there’s no one to help, when there probably is.